If there's an exact way of describing what I am feeling right now, this would be it. If you ask me how do I loose weight that easy, this would be the answer for that. but i tell you, it ain't easy my friend! And it's sooooo damn stressful!
December 28, 2011
Missing You
If there's an exact way of describing what I am feeling right now, this would be it. If you ask me how do I loose weight that easy, this would be the answer for that. but i tell you, it ain't easy my friend! And it's sooooo damn stressful!
December 27, 2011
The Test of a Man's Love
DISCLAIMER: The Story below is just a re-post. The owner of this blogsite (me) was just touched with the story and I believe that this kind of story should be shared to many readers as possible and this is my way of sharing it. The names of the characters were changed to protect the identities of the real people involved in this story.
After their first three dates, his girlfriend told him an astonishing piece of news that changed his life forever.
It was a "dark secret", 61-year old Kenny Frank John remembered of what his then-girlfriend Freya Vida told him almost three decades back.
I am schizophrenic, she had told him.
If that was not surprising enough, she also told him that she was a patient at the Institute of Mental Health, otherwise known as Woodbridge Hospital in the 60s.
Yet, the secret she guarded so carefully — one that scared away all her previous boyfriends upon hearing — finally stood the test of one man's faith and love for her.
Kenny, a Singaporean whose heritage is part Eurasian and part Sri Lankan, listened as Freya poured her heart out about her past and her condition.
Schizophrenia is a group of psychotic disorders characterised by disturbances in thought, perception, affectation, behaviour and communication lasting longer than six months.
At the onset, because there was little public awareness on schizophrenia, Freya's symptoms of headaches, insomnia, a loss of appetite and even being delusional sometimes worried her family.
They believed she was charmed, and brought her to a medium instead. The delay worsened her condition. It had escalated to a point when she harboured suicidal thoughts. Back then in the 60s, a relative who worked in the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) heard of her unexplainable illness and recommended Freya be warded. Her condition finally stabilised.
Instead of breaking up with her after hearing what she said, the freelance television actor and motivational speaker asked her, "Will you marry me?"
"I was deeply moved by her sincerity and her caring nature. I had dated many girls, but Freya was very down to earth… Freya is a very timid person and I decided I wanted to give her a better life, so I asked for her hand in marriage," Kenny told this writer.
The couple tied the knot in 1974.
This year, the couple celebrate their 37-year anniversary.
Freya is still battling with schizophrenia and as of five years ago, arthritis as well. As for Kenny, he too has diabetes, high cholesterol and cataract.
Challenges of caring
Medical costs aside, Kenny revealed that the road is tough to say the least. He used to struggle between juggling work and caring for his wife.
In 1995, under tremendous amount of stress, he attempted suicide.
In retrospect, he said, "I deeply regret taking that route — imagine what would happen to Freya if I had not survived."
"It's still very tough," Kenny admitted. "But I have to stay and remain strong for Freya. She needs me badly."
The couple had unfortunately lost their only two children — one through a miscarriage and the other through an abortion. In the latter case, the couple made that decision as Freya would have to get off the drugs that would affect the foetus.
The devout Catholic relies on his faith to get by. He left his 31-year job as a public relations officer in October and is now working from home as a writer to earn income to pay their bills.
Caring for his wife turned him into an advocate for the mentally ill.
"It's been extremely tough for him as Freya's sole caregiver, especially when the support structure for caregivers of the mentally ill is clearly lacking — something which I have been fighting for, for decades."
But Kenny never regretted taking her as his wife.
"No, I will not ever walk away from taking care of Freya because of one simple reason — I love her deeply," he said
Kenny handles all the household chores and finances while maintaining his writing jobs and caring for his wife. The last job entails taking her to numerous medical appointments at Tan Tock Seng Hospital, IMH and polyclinics monthly, and ensuring she religiously takes her medication — 52 tablets a daily. He visits the same hospital for his eye treatment.
Although her schizophrenia is now stabilised, Kenny reveals that it may relapse anytime. "The symptoms of her arthritis condition caused her to be in tremendous physical pain in all her joints that left her mobility severely impaired. In severe pain, it can trigger a relapse of her mental illness," he said.
Freya had suffered a relapse before so he and the doctors are carefully monitoring her condition.
Symptoms
Kenny reveals how the symptoms first develop. He usually first notices physical tell-tale signs such as the white of her eyes turning slightly blue, and much dandruff appearing on her scalp.
At the beginning, Freya would become uncannily quiet and fearful. "The slightest noise will affect her," Kenny said. Over time, she tends to become increasingly anxious and begins hallucinating. While she is not violent, her husband said, Freya cries when she hears buzzing in her ears and voices telling her to do "strange" things.
"There were occasions when I had to sleep with the house keys under my pillow as she would wake up in the middle of the night and attempt to go downstairs to the void deck. She believed that her mother was waiting for her downstairs. But her mother had already passed away," Kenny said sadly.
Traumatic experiences such as the loss of their children and the loss of her mother haunt her as well.
The breaking point is when Freya begins talking about suicide. That is when Kenny is left with no choice but to admit her into hospital.
"On most occasions, she would have to undergo ECT ( electro convulsive therapy). This is where mild current is applied to the brain every four seconds to stabilise her. Most of the time, she requires at least six shots of ECT. It is an extremely painful period for me," he said.
She may require another knee operation should her medications fail, he adds.
Despite all these, while he acknowledges that it is an uphill task to care for her as her arthritis condition worsens, he is prepared to fight this battle for he and his beloved wife.
"If there's one thing you can say to your wife now, what would you say?" this reporter asked.
"If schizophrenia is part of your life, then it must certainly be part of my life. I don't necessarily like what the illness does to you, but it is you who I love. And that will always be the guiding, motivating force of my life, Freya."
After their first three dates, his girlfriend told him an astonishing piece of news that changed his life forever.
It was a "dark secret", 61-year old Kenny Frank John remembered of what his then-girlfriend Freya Vida told him almost three decades back.
I am schizophrenic, she had told him.
If that was not surprising enough, she also told him that she was a patient at the Institute of Mental Health, otherwise known as Woodbridge Hospital in the 60s.
Yet, the secret she guarded so carefully — one that scared away all her previous boyfriends upon hearing — finally stood the test of one man's faith and love for her.
Kenny, a Singaporean whose heritage is part Eurasian and part Sri Lankan, listened as Freya poured her heart out about her past and her condition.
Schizophrenia is a group of psychotic disorders characterised by disturbances in thought, perception, affectation, behaviour and communication lasting longer than six months.
At the onset, because there was little public awareness on schizophrenia, Freya's symptoms of headaches, insomnia, a loss of appetite and even being delusional sometimes worried her family.
They believed she was charmed, and brought her to a medium instead. The delay worsened her condition. It had escalated to a point when she harboured suicidal thoughts. Back then in the 60s, a relative who worked in the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) heard of her unexplainable illness and recommended Freya be warded. Her condition finally stabilised.
Instead of breaking up with her after hearing what she said, the freelance television actor and motivational speaker asked her, "Will you marry me?"
"I was deeply moved by her sincerity and her caring nature. I had dated many girls, but Freya was very down to earth… Freya is a very timid person and I decided I wanted to give her a better life, so I asked for her hand in marriage," Kenny told this writer.
The couple tied the knot in 1974.
This year, the couple celebrate their 37-year anniversary.
Freya is still battling with schizophrenia and as of five years ago, arthritis as well. As for Kenny, he too has diabetes, high cholesterol and cataract.
Challenges of caring
Medical costs aside, Kenny revealed that the road is tough to say the least. He used to struggle between juggling work and caring for his wife.
In 1995, under tremendous amount of stress, he attempted suicide.
In retrospect, he said, "I deeply regret taking that route — imagine what would happen to Freya if I had not survived."
"It's still very tough," Kenny admitted. "But I have to stay and remain strong for Freya. She needs me badly."
The couple had unfortunately lost their only two children — one through a miscarriage and the other through an abortion. In the latter case, the couple made that decision as Freya would have to get off the drugs that would affect the foetus.
The devout Catholic relies on his faith to get by. He left his 31-year job as a public relations officer in October and is now working from home as a writer to earn income to pay their bills.
Caring for his wife turned him into an advocate for the mentally ill.
"It's been extremely tough for him as Freya's sole caregiver, especially when the support structure for caregivers of the mentally ill is clearly lacking — something which I have been fighting for, for decades."
But Kenny never regretted taking her as his wife.
"No, I will not ever walk away from taking care of Freya because of one simple reason — I love her deeply," he said
Kenny handles all the household chores and finances while maintaining his writing jobs and caring for his wife. The last job entails taking her to numerous medical appointments at Tan Tock Seng Hospital, IMH and polyclinics monthly, and ensuring she religiously takes her medication — 52 tablets a daily. He visits the same hospital for his eye treatment.
Although her schizophrenia is now stabilised, Kenny reveals that it may relapse anytime. "The symptoms of her arthritis condition caused her to be in tremendous physical pain in all her joints that left her mobility severely impaired. In severe pain, it can trigger a relapse of her mental illness," he said.
Freya had suffered a relapse before so he and the doctors are carefully monitoring her condition.
Symptoms
Kenny reveals how the symptoms first develop. He usually first notices physical tell-tale signs such as the white of her eyes turning slightly blue, and much dandruff appearing on her scalp.
At the beginning, Freya would become uncannily quiet and fearful. "The slightest noise will affect her," Kenny said. Over time, she tends to become increasingly anxious and begins hallucinating. While she is not violent, her husband said, Freya cries when she hears buzzing in her ears and voices telling her to do "strange" things.
"There were occasions when I had to sleep with the house keys under my pillow as she would wake up in the middle of the night and attempt to go downstairs to the void deck. She believed that her mother was waiting for her downstairs. But her mother had already passed away," Kenny said sadly.
Traumatic experiences such as the loss of their children and the loss of her mother haunt her as well.
The breaking point is when Freya begins talking about suicide. That is when Kenny is left with no choice but to admit her into hospital.
"On most occasions, she would have to undergo ECT ( electro convulsive therapy). This is where mild current is applied to the brain every four seconds to stabilise her. Most of the time, she requires at least six shots of ECT. It is an extremely painful period for me," he said.
She may require another knee operation should her medications fail, he adds.
Despite all these, while he acknowledges that it is an uphill task to care for her as her arthritis condition worsens, he is prepared to fight this battle for he and his beloved wife.
"If there's one thing you can say to your wife now, what would you say?" this reporter asked.
"If schizophrenia is part of your life, then it must certainly be part of my life. I don't necessarily like what the illness does to you, but it is you who I love. And that will always be the guiding, motivating force of my life, Freya."
June 28, 2011
Life After Hours Slideshow
Life After Hours Slideshow: "TripAdvisor™ TripWow ★ Life After Hours Slideshow ★ to Cagayan de Oro. Stunning free travel slideshows on TripAdvisor"
An experience of a lifetime.. I never thought I could cross-paths with these people. They're younger than me but they're equally smarter. I just thank God for giving these people to me. Friends for keeps..
An experience of a lifetime.. I never thought I could cross-paths with these people. They're younger than me but they're equally smarter. I just thank God for giving these people to me. Friends for keeps..
June 16, 2011
"Captured by a White Skirt" (The Story of Yosef and Mari) - Chapter 14
Mari went on with her life without Yosef around her. She was able to finish college and have her license. These were the most precious and happiest moment in the past two years. But she knew she could be happier if Yosef was with her during those moments. Two years. . .She didn’t know how she survived two years without constant communication with Yosef. There are times when he tried to text her, but she chose to ignore him because she doesn’t want to get hurt and cry anymore. But it wasn’t easy on her part. . it wasn’t really easy.
After she got her license, she went job hunting. Fortunately, CPV and Associates was the first to give her the chance to practice her profession. On her first day, she still can’t believe that her former bosses are now her colleagues!
“Welcome to the club Mari!!”, Julia, the group’s ‘ate’, said heartily.
“Yeah!! Welcome at CPV and Associates!”, said Ella, Aira, Cindy and Leira in chorus.
“Thank You very much guys!!”, Mari replied, addressing her thank you to the rest of the staff.
“Mari, come here, this is going to be your table”, Julia said, leading her to her table for the rest of her stay at the firm. She was surprised because the table that she’s going to use is the same table that Yosef used to occupy! She didn’t know if it’s just co-incidence or they intentionally did that, but she believed it was just co-incidence because these people knew her status with Yosef.
It’s been two years since Yosef tried to ask for a space from Mari. At first, he was thankful for that but then he realized that what he asked for may be too painful for Mari. He took her for granted, yet she gave her what he wanted. He can’t blame her for ignoring his text messages because in the first place, this is all his fault. He started this crap and so he must suffer the consequences. He misses Mari so much, yet he does not know if he’s going to join Mari’s life once again. He’s guilty for causing her so much pain and he does not have the guts to come to her and tell her “Hi, can I be your boyfriend for the second time?!”. Though they didn’t really have that break-up, the silence between them seems to be an implication of a break-up.
The last thing that he heard about her was, she passed the board exam. Anything after that, he knows nothing about her anymore. He was stupid to let her go.
December came and it’s time for christmas parties!! For the first time, the firm had their christmas party at a comedy bar. The place and the performers were exclusively paid to perform for the firm, its staff and their guests. It has been the firm’s tradition to invite former staffs as their guests. And Mari was quite sure that Yosef would be there that night.
Before the party started, she’s now feeling some butterflies in her stomach. She can’t describe the feeling, thinking that she’s going to see Yosef for the first time in a long time. She can’t think logically on what she’s going to do if ever their paths are going to cross tonight.
At six in the evening, the party started, initiated by the hired comediannes. Yosef arrived late, as he planned. By the time that he arrived at the venue, the boys are almost done with their dance number. After the boys, it was the girls’ turn. And when the girls stood up and had their formation at the stage, he was shocked with what he saw. “Is it Mari?!?”, he asked himself mentally. When he tried to look closely, he was able to confirm it. Yes, it’s Mari. And he got so amazed on how gracefully Mari danced her way through-out the performance. That was the first time he saw her dance.
Mari was so nervous when she got up with the other girls on the stage. She didn’t knew if Yosef has arrived already because she didn’t attempted to look at, even a glimpse at the back portion of the place. But on instinct, when the music started, her body naturally moved on her own. She gave out all her best and she did not allow her nervousness to hinder the success of their show!
“Wow!! I never thought, she could perform like that!! And in all fairness, she had matured on how she moves and on how she looks”, he thought. He felt how much he missed Mari. He wanted to hug and kiss her after their performance, to congratulate her for a job well done. But how could he ever do that when they’re not in good terms?! They are so near, yet so far. Now he’s thinking that it’s now time to make a move and try to patch-up things with Mari.
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